Print Of Magic Being

For the longest time I based my legitimacy as an artist on my ability to adhere to specific conventions taught to me in art classes over the years. I prided myself on my technical abilities: attention to detail, usage of color, accurate measurements, thoughtful composition, masterfully bending the chosen medium to my will.  “The more naturalistic the better”, I would often think to myself.  “It has to be pretty”.  Meeting these standards was the goal.  “This is how I am to validate myself as an artist, isn’t it?”  My experiences have certainly reinforced this belief.  Even now I still find myself falling into this trap.  In an effort to explore other possibilities I’ve strayed away from my usual practices and begun to experiment a bit more with other mediums and methodologies.  Every now and then, however, I find myself compelled to create a Magic Being or something like it just to prove to myself that I still have a knack for painting; that I’m still a REAL artist.  But why?  Can I not simply revisit these skills because they make me feel good inside?   Because I find the process satisfying?  Why is there almost always this extra layer of meaning that is in reference to my insecurities as an artist?  After a great deal of introspection, I realized that many of these thoughts and questions were not necessarily of my own making.